How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever e-book, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is on the market for pre-order! Here!

An precise e-book that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, in the event you want my dulcet tones, hearken to together with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn via my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind after I virtually by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to develop into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You may name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my reminiscences and the experiences I had as a trend mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very severe. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my e-book within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by chance happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle via my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it will not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set previously, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this e-book. Let’s not get the flawed finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it received to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a experience via a decade of the inconceivable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and ceaselessly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. After all there are. Actually I used to be particularly instructed, after I received the e-book deal, that I needed to embody the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to all the elements that may probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I didn’t develop into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular skill to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any state of affairs.

You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably secure wager that you just’ll like it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so in the event you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I put up then please make it this one. I’ll be ceaselessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the e-book and concerning the means of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the very best, most satisfying factor I’ve ever carried out in my grownup life. When you’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely satisfied accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a e-book deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.